My grandson Jude was born with congenital midline defects that made breathing difficult and eventually impossible. He died after living and being loved for 109 days in the NICU at Boston Children’s Hospital. These photographs belong to my visual journal from that time. Observing light, shadows, patterns in nature, and traces left behind, I made photographs that combined my feelings of longing with the beauty I noticed while walking. I printed in Black and White to emphasize form. The photographer Robert Adams, writes how form brings hope: “Form helps us confront our worst fear: the suspicion that life may be chaos and that therefore our suffering is without meaning.” Jude's brief life taught me to appreciate and take better care of my own.